


Fix You

by CherryBlossomBabes



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: 1990s, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Family Feels, M/M, Minor Character Death, Physical Abuse, Please Don't Hate Me, Protection, Protective Nikki Sixx, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Sweet Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe), Trauma, Worried Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBlossomBabes/pseuds/CherryBlossomBabes
Summary: Tommy-He was truely the happiest being to man. Always smiling, chipper.. but looks can be deceiving. In actuality, Tommy is struggling to hold himself together. So, he turns to his Terror Twin for help.{◇} Tommy POV{♤} Nikki POVTRIGGER WARNINGS:•rape•self harm•trauma•sexual,  physical,  and mental abuseI PROMISE THE STORY ENDS WELL
Relationships: Mick Mars/Vince Neil, Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 29
Kudos: 12





	1. Save Me From Myself

{♤}

"Tommy?" 

Here he is, at 2 in the morning, tears streaming down his face. His eyes have lost their sparkle, and his face is bloodied and bruised. He doesn't meet my gaze, but instead keeps his eyes on the concrete steps of my apartment.

"Hey, Nikki." 

"The fuck happened?" I reach out a hand and touch his cheek, but Tommy jumps away from my touch. Fear flashes across his face, and I feel a pit form in my stomach. "Did he do this?"

Tommy just nods, gentle sobs escaping his lips. He falls to his knees, choking out gasps and tears. 

"I-I, I need your help, N-Nik.." Tommy cries. "I c-can't go b-back.."

I kneel down beside him, wrapping my arms around his shaking shell of a body. I hold him tight against me, gritting my teeth to keep from crying myself.

"A Terror Twin never leaves another Terror Twin in danger." I bury my face in Tommy's jet black hair, hugging him even tighter. "I'm never gonna let this happen again, okay? I will protect you.."

\----

"Nikki?" 

I snap out of my trace, looking at Mick. 

"Yeah?" 

"Practice is over.. you okay?" Mick sets down his guitar, taking a seat next to me. "You seem out of it."

I fix my eyes to Tommy, who's giggling with Vince, his signature smile plastered on his painted lips. How could he be that happy when he was an absolute mess last night..? 

"Tommy?" Mick raises an eyebrow at me. "Something happen between you two?"

"I promised Tom I wouldn't tell, but I trust you.." I take a deep breath and lower my voice. "I think Chris has been hitting Tommy. He showed up at 2 this morning, bloody and sobbing about how he couldn't go back home to him."

Mick's eyes go wide, his jaw falling open. He looks at Tommy, giving me a confused look.

"But things seemed to be going so well.."

"I know." I sigh. "I'm letting him crash with me for a bit. Don't tell Vince, please. You know he'll tell people, and I don't want fuckface finding out where Tommy is."

Mick nods, patting my back.

"Of course. You're a saint for helping him, Nik."

"He's done the same for me."

He had. Back when I lived with my mom, I'd show up at Tommy's crying. Tommy would take me in, shower me in affection and junk food, and patch up any wounds my mother left behind. I owed him for doing that for me. 

"Still." Mick gets up, grabbing his guitar. "Hey, Lee!"

"Yeah?" Tommy walks to Mick, looking over at me. "What's up?"

"I'm going to that new food place down the street for lunch. Yiu want in?"

Tommy's eyes widen the second Mick says the word "food."

"Uhm, DUH!" 

"Good. Pack your shit, I'm leaving in 5."

Tommy looks at me again, then looks at his drumset. 

"I'll pack it up, Tom." I pick at my bass, plucking a few strings. "Don't worry about it."

"But-"

I shoot Tommy a look meaning "shut the fuck up before I make you" , and Tommy clamps his lips shut. He gives me a smile, his eyes regaining their luster. 

"Thank you, Sixx."

"Of course." I wave a hand at him. "Now, go join Mick before he leaves you behind."

I watch Tommy sprint away, and I space out again. The marks the size of fingertips around Tommy's neck were distracting me that entire time..

I swear, Chris wouldn't know what hit him. Guess what, motherfucker? Hurricane Nikki is coming your way, and the forecast says its gonna get rough, so you may wanna take shelter now.


	2. War Inside My Head

{◇}

I met Chris my junior year of high school, just before I dropped out. He was on the high school's basketball team, and I met him at a game. He was funny, sweet.. everything I thought I wanted. After Crüe formed though, and Nikki and I got closer, Chris and I hit a rough patch. It wasn't often he got angry, but tonight was one of those nights where he turns into a fucking demon out to eat my soul.

"Hey." I swing open the front door of me and Chris's place, shrugging off my jacket and kicking off my boots. Chris is standing in the kitchen hallway, his frame leaning against the wall.

"Hey you. How's the band?"

I knit my eyebrows in confusion. Chris never wanted to talk about the band. Ever. It was basically a fucking rule.

"Good..?"

"Good. How's Nikki? Found a chick yet?" Chris checks his nails, his eyes flickering with danger. 

"He's uhm, not into chicks.." I slowly hang up my jacket. "You feeling okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.." Chris meets my eyes, smirking. "At least I will be after you do something for me."

"Like what?" Fuck, this wasn't gonna end well..

Chris steps toward me, wrapping one arm around my waist and the other resting on my cheek. He tilts my face up to look at him, and I see my scared reflection in his irises.

"Tell me you don't love Nikki Sixx. Tell me you feel nothing for him."

"What? Nikki is my friend, we've been over this! Nothin' is going on!" 

"Liar."

Chris backhands me, and my back hits the living room wall. I press a hand to my cheek, blinking back my tears.

"Why does Nikki matter so fucking much to you, huh?" I spit. "All you ever do is bring him up!"

"Because I know for a fact that that little whore has fucked around with you!" 

"That was in high school! It meant nothing!" I fall onto my knees. "I was stupid, okay?"

"I don't believe you." Chris grabs my arm. "You're nothing but a filthy fucking slut. That's all you'll ever be." He yanks, pulling me up off my knees and on my feet. "And I'm gonna fucking prove it."

"Chris, stop! Fucking stop, please!" 

Chris drags me away to our room, and I dig my heels into the carpet, hoping to buy time. It doesn't work, and instead, I'm tied to the headboard of our bed, begging Chris to let me go. 

So now, I'm laying in the bed, my arms aching from being tied up. Chris is busy cooking in the kitchen, humming loudly to himself. 

I feel dirty, ashamed.. yes, Nikki and I were once a thing in high school, but that ended after I met Chris. I shift on the bed, hating the feeling of Chris's essence between my legs. Maybe he was right, maybe I deserved this.. 

Chris was by no means a lovey-dovey guy like Nikki was, especially not during sex. Nikki kissed my wrists, told me how much he loved me, while Chris just rammed himself into me and bit at me like I was a fucking piece of meat. In times like these, I missed Nikki more and more. I just wanted him to hold me, to tell me everything would be okay..

What do I do?


	3. Beat It

{♤}

At practice the next night, Tommy arrives with fresh bruises on his neck and on his arms. Vince is first to notice.

"You good, Drummer?" Vince raises an eyebrow over his Aviator's. "You look a little beat up.."

"All is good." Tommy smiles his usual goofy grin, but I can see it starting to crack. I know my Tommy, and I know he doesn't really feel like smiling. "I fell and ate concrete on my way here."

Mick makes eye contact with me, and I can tell he's about to do something..

"Tommy, look me in the fucking eyes right now and tell me Chris isn't hitting you."

Tommy's pupils go wide, his face frowning. 

"What? The fuck makes you think that?" 

He looks frantically at me, and I shake my head.

"I'm sorry Tom. I had to tell Mick. His dad senses kicked in."

"Wait, rewind that," Vince yanks off his glasses, glaring at me and Mick. "How come I wasn't told?"

"Because the media doesn't need to fucking know." I cross my arms and look at Tommy. "Why didn't you tell us earlier, Tom?"

Tommy's eyes well up with tears, and he falls to the ground. 

"Because he told me he hurt me more if I said anything.."

His voice.. he sounds drained, broken.. 

Nothing like my real Tommy.

I clentch my hands into fists, getting up from my seat. 

"That's fucking it."

Tommy grabs at my leg, his eyes pleading with me.

"Nik, don't!"

"Why not?" I grit my teeth. "Fucker has a problem with me? He can fucking shove it."

I shake Tommy off of me, sprint to my bike, and take off. I ride my way to Tommy and Chris's apartment and park my Harley. 

"Hey, fuckwad!" 

Chris opens the front door, his eyes turning into dinner plates when he sees me. 

"Sixx, how great.." 

I hear an engine roar down the road, and in comes Vince's sports car. He hits the brake, and Tommy pops his head out the window.

"Nikki, stop, please!"

Chris sees Tommy, and he smirks.

"Let me guess, the whore told you?"

I take a second to process his words. Anger boils inside of me, and I keep my eyes fixed on the ground.

"Excuse me?"

"So.. the. Whore. Told. You." Chris takes a step toward me. "You stupid?"

"No, but you're about to be fucking dead!"

I lunge at Chris, clawing, biting, pulling, hitting... whatever I could do to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him the way he did to Tommy..

"You are an AWFUL excuse of a fucking human!" I twist Chris's arm. "How the hell could you break him like that?"

"I didn't do this!" Chris screams. "You did this!"

"How? All I ever did was love him, give him a place to stay.. all you did was beat him and hurt him!"

"Nikki! Hey!" Vince pulls me off of Chris's body, holding me back. "Listen, man, I'm all for beating this dude into a pulp, but the cops will do something if we don't leave."

I deliver one last punch, and Vince kicks at his ribs, cracking them with his heeled boots. 

"Come on, Nikki. Tom needs you." Vince pats my shoulder. "He's messed up."

I climb my way into the back of Vince's car, greeted with a bawling Tommy cooped up in Mick's arms.

"Breathe, Lee.." Mick smiles at me as I get in. "Sixx!"

"Hey." I take Tom from Mick's lap, running my fingers through his dark hair. "You okay, Dark Roast?"

Tommy chuckles, and I mentally pat myself on the back. That nickname always made him smile..

"Just is a lot, ya know?" He wipes at his mascara-streaked eyes. "It just means a lot to have you guys sticking up for me."

"We're family, Drummer.. always will be." Vince reaches a hand back and rubs Tommy's leg. "Seriously, we will get ya through this. I promise, man."

"Thanks, guys.." Tommy rests his head against my chest. "Can we stop at the store and get chocolate fudge ice cream?"

"We're eating our feelings tonight, boyss!!" Mick raises his hands in the air. "Vin, you heard the man: TO THE STORE!"


	4. Ten Seconds To Love

{◇}

"Hey, Lee."

I jump from my vanity, my hand slipping and swiping red lipstick on my cheek. 

"Sixx." 

I don't turn around, but instead grab a makeup wipe to clean my cheek. I keep my eyes fixed on Nikki's frame through my mirror, though, just in case.

"Can we talk?" Nikki shuts my dressing room door, making his way behind me. He grabs my shoulders and spins me around to look at him, and I suck in a breath. 

"Why now, Sixx? I haveta get ready.." I go to wipe off my accidental cheek stain, but Nikki grabs my wrist. His eyes are urgent and soft.

"Tom, please don't blow me off. This is more important than getting lipstick off your face."

I let out a sigh and cross my arms at Nikki.

"You have 5 minutes."

"Why are you mad at me for yesterday?" Nikki rests a hand on my leg. "What did I do?"

"I told you to leave Chris alone!" I spit. I feel tears burn at my eyes. "Thanks to you, everything is gonna be worse now! His fucking friends are probably gonna beat the shit outta me after the goddamn show!"

Nikki shoots me a confused look, his lips parting.

"Tommy, Chris doesn't love you."

"How the fuck would you of all people know what love is?" I ask, pulling his hand off my thigh. "He might not love me, Sixx, but he's the closest thing to love I'm ever gonna get!"

Nikki just sits there, completely dumbfounded by my words. He takes a second to process what I said, then speaks.

"So, what we had wasn't love to you?"

I bite my tongue.

"We were in high school and stupid, Nikki."

Nikki's eyes go big, hurt appearing on his face. He shakes his head, getting up from next to me. 

"My fucking bad, Tommy. I'm sorry I didn't love you good enough. I'm sorry I never beat the shit out of you like Chris did, and I'm sorry me telling you I loved you was so stupid to you. We're on in 5." 

Nikki glares daggers at me, slamming my door shut. I listen to his heeled boots stomp their way down the hallway, back to his own dressing room. I feel a tear drip down my cheek, but I quickly wipe it away.

Of course I still loved Nikki. I always would, I mean, he was my first. I could never tell him I still loved him, though. He didn't need me weighing him down. And of course I didn't think our romance in high school was stupid, either, but.. whatever..

I finish my makeup, grab my sticks, then head out to the wings. Nikki is there, tuning his bass. He takes one look at me than scowls, turning his head in the other direction. I just bite down on the inside of my cheek and sit behind my drumset, trying to sort my bustling mind.

The show is decent, definitely not our best one, but a show nonetheless. The second we get offstage, I make my way back to my dressing room and shut the door behind me. I press my back against the door, sinking my way down onto the carpet. My head spins, and the tears fall. 

I fucking hated myself. I hated what I said to Nikki, I hated that I still believed I deserved Chris hitting me. Fuck, I just wanted it to end..

I look over at my vanity, eyeing the small bottle of pills I had brought with me. Someone had given them to me at some point in time, and told me they would help with anxiety, so I took them. If I needed anything right now, it was to get out of my head. So, I get up, reach for the bottle, a pop 3 of the pills. I swallow them with a mouthful of Jack, then plop myself back down in front of my door and shut my eyes.


	5. No More Sorrow

{♤}

"Nik! How could you?"

"What?" I take a sip from my water, and Vince scoffs.

"You're forgetting that Tommy is fucked mentally right now. Hes hurt, Sixx." Vince sighs, crossing his arms around his chest. "Of course he said what he did. He doesn't know how to feel right now."

"You of all people should know that." Mick adds. "You need to apologize to him for everything."

I fiddle with the tips of hair, staring at the carpet. They were both right: I said some pretty bitchy stuff, and Tommy didn't deserve that.

"I'm just really frustrated.. he doesn't understand how much I care about him, or how much I love him." I rub my temples. "I just wish I could help him more."

"And you can by going back there and talking to him." Vince puts a gloved hand on my shoulder. "Me and Mick will be here."

I get up and make my way back to Tommy's dressing room. When I reach his door, I hesitate when I go to knock. Maybe I should leave him alone..? No, I wouldn't go there..

"Hey, T-Bone? Listen, I just wanna apologize.."

No answer.

I knock again.

"Tommy?"

Fuck, he's prolly asleep.. I pull a bobby pin from my hair and press it into the lock of the door. I jiggle it about, grinning when the lock clicks. I push on the door, only to be met with a force holding the shut.

"Tom, hey, listen.." I trail off. Laying on front of the door is Tommy, his ruby red lips parted, his face pale. Next to him is a spilled bottle of pills with the label scratched out, and I five to the floor. I press my fingers to his neck, feeling his pulse, then my stomach falls.

"VINCE! MICK! SOMEBODY, PLEASE!" 

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" Vinces voice quivers, watching as paramedics whisk Tommy away. He looks to Mick, his eyes shiny. "Mick?"

"I mean, Vin, he seemed out of it. I couldn't tell ya."

As for me, I just fixed my gaze on the concrete. I wanted this to be a dream, I wanted to wake up and feel Tommy's arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Nik.."

"Don't be." I put my head in my hands, releasing a flood of tears. "Be sorry for Tommy. I didn't even get to tell him I loved him just one last time.."


	6. Recovery

{◇}

My head is fucking spinning. I feel like I'm floating, just stuck in an endless void. In all honesty, it feels nice..

Well, until I realize what happened and where I am. 

I'm in the back of an ambulance, with about 4 nurses in their bright white attire. Judging from how frantic they are, I'm assuming someone found me in my dressing room. 

"We're losing him!"

I can feel my head clouding over once again. This couldn't be death, could it? It felt so gentle.. nothing like what I had read in books.

In the distance, I can hear voices. 

"Mick.. I can't do this.. I can't lose another fucking friend.."

Vince.

"You can baby. I'm here for you. Trust me, it's not easy, I know.."

Mick.

"This is all my fucking fault!"

And then the petrifying screams and sobs of Nikki.

I've never heard him like this. The nights he was hit by his mom he never even shed a tear. Hearing him like this, it hurt me. 

Tommy, you need to wake up. You need to wake up..

I feel a sudden burst of energy flow through me, and I jolt from my cot. 

"What happened?"

I open my eyes to see dozens of nurse, all shocked, staring at me. I'm still in the back of an ambulance, and I see the strobe red and blue lights of cop cars shine through the door's windows. 

"You overdosed." One of the nurses helps me lay back down. "We revived you with adrenaline. You should get some rest."

"No, wait!" I grab the nurse's arm. "M-my friends are out there, and-"

"Sir, we need to get you to the hospital." The nurse smiles softly at me. "I've already told them you're awake. We're just taking you back to the hospital to make sure everything is good and so you can recover."

"Thank you.. you're an angel.." I give the nurse a weak smile, and watch as she shuts the ambulance doors. The whole drive to the hospital, she holds my hand and soothes me.


	7. Dr. Feelgood

{♤}

"You're mom's a whore!" Vince puts his head back through his car's open window, his blonde hair swirling around his head like a halo. "I fucking hate LA traffic.."

"Yeah?" Mick rests a ring-crested hand on Vince's thigh. "I need to book an anger management cours for you. I mean, seriously."

"Yeah, Vince!" Tommy snickers. His head is resting in my lap, his eyes looking up at the car's roof. I toy with his long black hair, keeping my eyes focused on the back of the passenger seat.

"How do ya feel, Drummer?" I ask softly, brushing his bangs from his crystalline eyes. Tommy smiles.

"Good. I'm happy I finally get to go home."

As of today, Tommy was in the hospital for a month. He looked awful, but the day the doctor told him he was released, his smile came back and his eyes shimmered with life.

"Please don't ever be that stupid again, fucker." Vince hits the brakes at a red light, cranning in his seat to look at Tommy. "I don't ever wanna see that shit go down again. Got it, mister?"

Tommy winks.

"Yes Sir." He puts his head back on my lap, his fingers caressing the chains attached to my pants's belt loops. "Nik, what was it like when you overdosed?" 

I sigh, pressing a hand to Tommy's cheek.

"I was in my own personal hell." I bite my lip, digging my teeth into the skin. "Tom, I didn't mean to overdose if that's what your getting at. I fucking hated it."

Tommy nods, pressing his cheek against my thigh. His pupils shine with a childlike innocence, but they seem sad at the same time.

"Oh.." Tommy let's out a deep breath, another small smile meeting the corners of his lips. "I'm really happy I'm okay, Nik. I don't wanna imagine a world without my Terror Twin." 

"Yeah? Now you know how it feels." I laugh. "Please, Tommy, talk to me next time, okay?"

He nods again, shutting his eyes.

"Terror Twins in the real world.."

"Terror Twins in the afterlife." I finish. I press a kiss to the top of Tommy's head. "Goodnight, Drummer. I'll wake you up when we get home."


End file.
